11 Habits for developing a Lifestyle of happiness
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your actions.” –
Dalai Lama, XIV
A few days ago I was watching this Ted Talk by Daniel
Gilbert on The Surprising
Science of Happiness. He says that
each one of us have psychological immune system and the innate capacity to
synthesize happiness. He concludes that our longings and our worries are both
to some degree overblown because we have within us the capacity to manufacture
the very commodity (Happiness) we are constantly chasing for in life.
Friends, whichever part of the world you live in, whichever
religion, caste, race or ethnicity you belong to, whatever language you speak,
whether you have surplus material riches or not, the ultimate goal of every
human being is to be happy and enjoy the few years of his spiritual journey on
planet earth. Now being happy has least do with ‘achieving X goal’ because in
that case happiness will be short-lived and your mind would look for ‘achieving
Y goal’. As a matter of fact, happiness remains the most cherished yet elusive
of all human desires even today.
I am always amazed by the way the almighty has made
the human beings. We exist with a plethora of vividness- different culture,
different lifestyle, different interests, different eating habits and so on. When it comes to happiness while doing a
certain thing may give happiness to one, it may feel completely awkward for the
other. For example Peter may find
happiness in partying with a bunch of friends while Ram finds happiness in reading in solitude. However at large and from
my experiences in life over past one year (majorly spent in solitude) when I
got the chance to think and research, I have come out with a list of 11 habits doing
which spurs lasting-happiness in most human beings.
1. EXPRESSING GRATITUDE:
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| Gratitude Journal |
What
do I do to express Gratitude? I have maintained this one-sentence journal, a
five-year record for expressing my gratitude apart from the regular journal I
have and would earnestly suggest the same for you. No matter at what stage of life you are in, whatever
is your bank balance, whether you own a mansion or live in a 1 BHK rented house,
there is always something to express gratitude for. So what do I write in that
journal? I write something in my life that I am thankful for in such a way that
I do not repeat the same thing in 30 days. For instance I write I am thankful
to almighty for every breathe that I take, for my heart beating properly, for
my healthy body and so on. Then some other day I thank the people I have in my
life and because of which I feel so complete and secured and so on.
2. SELFLESSLY HELPING OTHERS:
Happiness
comes from helpfulness. When you help someone with a pure heart and without
expecting anything in return, you will experience happiness and joy that I find
difficult to express in words. It
doesn’t have to be a big thing or relating to charity. It can be as small as
giving up your seats to elderly citizens or children standing in a crowded bus,
donating blood, donating your old books and clothes in proper condition but not
in use and so on.
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| Greatest service is the service to humanity |
3. JOURNALING:
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| My Journal of last 3 years |
It helps you connect with your consciousness and thus
multiply your levels of happiness. When you pen down your doubts, your fears, moments
of distress and self-pity, it is as if you talk to them and take back the power
that you had given over to all your negative emotions. Scientific evidences support the health
benefits of journaling as it removes the mental blocks and allows all of your
brain power to better understand yourself, others and the world around you.
Narendra, how to get
started with journaling?
It’s simple. First of all, I would recommend maintaining a
dedicated diary or a notebook for journaling (as you see in the pic here)
because over a period of time you get to read and analyze your state of mind,
the progress you have made, what worked and what not and so on. Now, what to
write in your journal? Reflect over your
life, ask yourself are you really happy? What is it that is keeping you from
being happy? Then write what things you feel can do to become happy and also
what habits you should give up. Slowly and gradually start doing the things.
Apart from this on a daily basis for 20-30 minutes in the
morning or evening time before going to bed (whatever works best for you) you
may write the goals for the day, reflections for the day which includes
your experiences, memorable moments, and even the forgettable ones, write about what went well and what could be improved upon.
You may even write your state of mind, your doubts, your fears, and your
anxiety. Also you must write about the things you are thankful for on a daily
basis. I personally maintain a dedicated Gratitude journal as mentioned earlier.
4. WALKING
IN THE WOODS:
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| A walk in the woods |
Almost
addicted to walking as mentioned in my one of my previous blog,
I have categorized my walks into three types which I perform based on my levels
of energy and state of mind:
1. Brisk Walk: I usually do brisk walking for
long distances and when I am high on energy. On a personal record I have walked
as long as 11 Kms in one stretch with a 5 minute break in-between. When you
walk briskly, within 5-10 minutes you start sweating profusely and as a result
there is sudden rush of endorphins, the hormones which makes you feel
exhilarated and happy blocking any feeling of pain, and serotonin, hormones responsible
for happiness, healthy appetite and a restful sleep.
2. Moderate Walk: Sunrise and Sunset times are ideal for this kind of walk when you
feel moderate levels of energy. As the name suggests, you walk at a moderate
speed. This category of walk is good for distance ranging from 3-5 kms. You
feel energized and happy after a moderate walk.
3. Slow Walk (Strolling): I do slow walk when I want to relax, reflect, introspect
and feel the nature. You may do it after a long tiresome day and preferably after
your dinner in solitude or with loved ones. You go to Parks and spend some time
there among the trees and children playing. Slow walk is fitted for distance
ranging from 1-3 kms. You feel refreshed and at peace of mind after a good slow
walk.
5. PRINTING PICTURES OF LOVED ONES AND MAKING
AN ALBUM OF MEMORIES:
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| My Picture Printer |
Yes,
I am quite particular about printing (hard-copies) the pictures and making an
album of memories. In the digital age where technology has an edge, while the
number of moments we capture with our cellphone camera or digicam has increased
compared to traditional camera roll with films, the time we take to cherish those
moments has decreased substantially. While it is good that we capture more and more
moments but the irony is that most of the pictures taken sit in some corner of
our compute hard-disk or memory devices. We rarely bother to enjoy and relive
those moments which also generates happiness.
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| Book of Memories |
When
you assemble those moments with printed copies in an album, it is like an album
or a book of happiness. Whenever you see the printed copies of your cherished
moments, it brings smiles on your faces, no matter what state of mind you are
in. The joy you feel when you see those moments with all your loved ones is
inexpressible. Well, softcopies in digital age is obvious but when it comes to
true happiness, in cherishing and reliving those moments it is the
hard-copies. I have bought a
picture printer for me which prints moments more valuable than money, my happiness.
Would you bargain your happiness with anything? Friends, please go get a
picture printer and multiply your levels of happiness.
6. EATING TOGETHER WITH LOVED ONES:
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| Eating together with loved ones |
There is
an old saying that the family that eats together stays together. A family is anyone’s and everyone’s greatest
treasure. When I was growing up in the
steel city of Bokaro, India, as a family we used to have at least one meal
together each day with every member of the family sitting cross-legged on the
floor of our apartment. I used to eat in
the same plate along with my Papa (Father) which continued until I was in 5th
Grade. As a result of this family ritual
while the meal was gratifying, it was also filled with moments of laughter and
happiness.
When you eat together with your loved ones while the bonding
between family members increases, room for doubt or misunderstanding reduces
considerably. Your relationship with
each member strengthens and you feel a strong sense of self-approval. As a
result you are happier and even more productive in your professional pursuits.
7. MEDITATION:
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| Meditate for 20 minutes a day |
In my previous
blog on meditation,
I had discussed the benefits of meditation and why meditation is so
essential for well-being of the humans. Meditation and happiness are closely
related. Through meditation we learn to manage our emotions better. With its
constant practice we are able to reduce our negative emotions like anger,
anxiety, depression, frustration, and complaining. Meditation multiplies your levels of happiness as you learn to detach yourself from all these
negative emotions instead of being consumed by them. Moreover consistent practice of meditation fosters
sound health which in turn lead to causeless happiness.
8. EXERCISE:
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| Exercise lead to Happiness |
Everyone
know the fact that regular exercise leads to a better physical and mental
well-being. I personally realized the
importance of exercise and the impact it has on changing our negative state of
minds to positive one in 2008 during my early days of professional life. At a time when I was going emotional turmoil
due to loss of my crush (not love) interest. I had least control over my
emotions and I was literally depressed. One fine day, I decided to go to gym
and things changed for the good. My mood, my levels of energy, my perspective, my
productivity, and even my communication improved tremendously. That time I didn’t
realize how it all happened but today with better awareness and after having
read so many articles and a book called Spark
by John J Ratey and Eric Hagerman,, I
can tell you that Exercise is a healthy medicine for your health and happiness. During
gym or intense exercise sessions, hormones like endorphins, estrogen, growth-factors,
serotonin and dopamine get generated which results in the change of our moods,
happiness and well-being.
9. LAUGH A LOT AND LAUGH OUT LOUD:
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| Always Keep Smiling |
Want
instant happiness, Laugh and laugh out loud for no reason and within seconds
you will feel happier. Laughter has several
health benefits. While it relaxes the whole body, it also boosts up the immune
system. Laughter increases blood flow which helps us protect against cardiovascular
problems. It is a powerful antidote to stress, pain and conflict. In addition
to all this, laughter has social benefits. Laughter is contagious and people
are drawn towards a happy, ever smiling person. It enhances team work, helps defuse conflict,
and even promotes group bonding. Laughter makes you feel good and the feeling that you get when you laugh
remains with you even when the laughter subsides. Overall I would say that laughter is the shortest
route to happiness.
10. READING:
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| Love for Reading |
The habit
of Reading is one of the most precious gifts you could give to yourself. Books are like boxes of treasure (wisdom)
which are accessible only when you start reading it. While books provide you knowledge
about civilizations, culture, history, people, and places, it also enhances
your imagination and creativity powers. Reading helps elevate your mood and even
inspires you to be stronger in trying times. Through reading you begin to
understand the world in a better way with increased levels of awareness. Reading the right books often taps to your
consciousness and invokes heightened self-awareness. All these things together incite
happiness.
11. SHARING:
Mother Teresa once
said “If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to
each other”. Sharing is a powerful way
to bring happiness. Be it the knowledge or the happiness, it only grows by
sharing. While sharing brings us joy, it also teaches us to care for others. Sharing
triggers other positive emotions like kindness, compassion and helpfulness
which in turn makes you even more happier and fulfilled person.
THE GREATEST SECRET
THAT IS KEEPING YOU FROM BEING HAPPY
Okay, it’s time to reveal the greatest secret of happiness
in the world: ‘Do anything and
everything selflessly with absolutely zero expectation’. Never ever look for anything, absolutely anything
in return. If it comes on its own, it’s okay to except but never ever look for
anything in return.
Friends, it’s plain and simple, yet we do not seem to
realize in our life. The act of selflessness creates happiness for your life. It
is the selfishness that is the root cause of many problems. Whenever there is
even a speck of expectation, it has pain associated with it. For instance whenever
you do something for someone, you expect a ‘Thank you’ from that person. Now
when the person does not say a ‘Thank you’ in return for your help, you often
say ‘how rude of him, doesn’t have common etiquette’. This very feeling in you
loses the joy and happiness of helping that person. I have experienced it many a times. Whenever
I share my learning through my blogs, I often visit the analytic to see how
many people have read my post and when the number doesn’t crosses a thousand
margin, I feel sad for a moment or two. By this very act I am losing the joy, the
happiness of sharing. Well, It’s hard to maintain this habit of zero expectation, but
certainly possible. On personal front, today I declare on this platform that I
will not check any of my blog’s analytic or even any social media page for 2
days after sharing my blog posts. And that’s a commitment J
Practising these 11 habits will create the happiness factory
for your Life where happiness is manufactured every single moment. Zero expectation and staying away from the evil triplets of jealousy, envy and people pleasing habits will further help you stay even more happier. Friends, Happiness is contagious.
Happy people make others happy. Be happy for ever.
Wishing you all a life-style of happiness. God bless humanity.
One Life!
Narendra Gupta
